Teen Wolf Movie Review, Waste of Time and Sanity

Teen Wolf: Movie sees the cast of MTV’s Teen Wolf return to the screens. Returning to Beacon Hills, Scott McCall gathers his pack to fight against an old foe hellbent on revenge.

Ye be warned, I have A LOT to say about this! I’ve kept this as spoiler free as possible; I’ll write a more in-depth piece on aspects of the story.

Initial Thoughts | Pre-Viewing Thoughts

I do not have high hopes. Hopefully, I’m wrong, but my gut instinct is that this will not be good. I’ve previously written a post on my opinions on what we know from trailers and interviews.

Plot

Firstly, what plot? Seriously, I struggled to understand what was going on truly. It wasn’t complicated; the layers of poorly thrown-together concepts and ideas were cloudy, and the loose plot line made it difficult. 

Teen Wolf Movie genuinely ruined the overarching storyline of the universe. First, the story couldn’t accommodate the size of the cast. Despite the film being 2 hours and 20 minutes, most of the cast was weak callbacks to the series. They added nothing to the story other than familiar faces. No joke, I counted with my Mum (who watched Teen Wolf Movie with me), and we got to 10 characters who could have been left out; that was us half-assing it. Genuinely, a staggering amount of characters. Not to mention that they brought back certain characters that didn’t make sense and fucked with the storylines. It felt like they got back whoever they felt like, regardless of if they were needed, fitted in the story or had been ALIVE by the end of season six. It truly stunned me.

Similar to the cast size, there was no actual plot because there were a bunch of weak storylines. It could have been better had they picked one thing and built it. Potentially. 

Secondly, handling the character’s storylines. The main villain was the Nogitsune, who was ruined. Lydia’s storyline didn’t match where season six left her. Malia? Parish? Argent? Peter? Don’t get me started.

In the film, Allison said she felt regret. Yeah, me too! I wasted nearly 2 and a half hours on this shit.

Attraction

The attraction was that it was the cast coming back to Beacon Hills. We would see where our beloved world and characters had ended up.

It completely fell flat. I’m not sure I’ll be able to explain how utterly disappointed and angry I am over this. The cast and crew (writers & director) hyped this up as it would be just like the show but in film format. And the show could easily pull off a film; however, this was shit. Even the trailers gave me doubts about how decent it would be. Seriously, my poor Mum had to listen to my extensive rants before its release. I’m sure other family members got it too, but Mum got it on more than one occasion.

However, like many others, I watched the Teen Wolf Movie out of loyalty. Loyalty to the cast, crew, characters and that universe. Only to be slapped in the face for my loyalty. It felt like a cash grab. Luckily I never had to pay anything extra to view it. Sky Cinema customers get free access to Paramount+ with their Sky account. I feel sorry for those who paid explicitly to watch this.

Theme

There was a theme, a slight sprinkling. Supernatural and Human people rally together to fight an ancient mythological creature. The theme was the idea of nostalgia for the show. The teen fantasy mythology theme was numbed by the poor storyline and acting.

Acting

Firstly, I must ask one question: What the hell happened with the acting?

Everyone was dreadful. It was baffling. If I wasn’t numbed by the audacity of the storyline, I think the acting could have stunned me more. The actors are good, even really good, at their jobs, so what happened? Why was the acting so poor? If you look at the show and compare it to the film, in the first season, their acting is better than the film despite a 12-year gap between them. You only need to look at the actors in their other projects to see that this film was poor.

I wonder if the issue stems from either not having enough time with the script (whether it constantly changed or wasn’t finalised until filming began) or the script was terrible, affecting their acting.

Dialogue 

I’ve never known what to write for dialogue. It’s a section that most templates I found had, so I added it in just in case. When I’m reading, the story can be good, but some sections or words can feel out of place, but I’ve never figured it out with film and tv.

Now I have. 

Actually, wtf?! I don’t think cringe is the right word; just wtf. Show, don’t tell? No, explain everything like its instructions for the stunningly stupid, please!

There was a point in the film when the characters explained what was happening in stupidly obvious detail. I was baffled. It wasn’t even subtle. Honestly, it felt like the script wasn’t finished. You know, like when you write down how you want the story to go in basic terms, so it’s easy to understand before you add flare to it. That’s what it felt like. It was painful.

And the swearing! I swear a lot. It’s an issue, and I hate it, but in media (writing and screen), it is supposed to be used sparingly. The occasional “fuck” or “shit” where appropriate is fine. But this was so jarring.

Since this is a revival of a show aired with no swearing, it felt like a toddler who just heard someone say a naughty word and was using it for fun. It was so trigger-happy. Like someone said, “by the way, you can swear this time,” and the writers tried to fit in as much as they could. Some of it was so out of place that it backhanded you into the Jurassic period for shits and giggles.

I like media that allows some swearing as it makes it more accurate and believable, but seriously? Going from a show that was never allowed to swear to this was beyond a joke. 

Cinematography 

The cinematography was meh. Nothing stunning, but it wasn’t shit. It had a familiar feeling, but I think it was overshadowed by so many other things feeling out of place that it took a backseat. 

However, the special effects were special, alright, especially shit. Don’t get me wrong, the special effects in the show weren’t star-stunning, mouth-dropping effects, but they were better than whatever that was. The part with the Nemeton was disappointing and, honestly, could have been left alone or made better by using lights and a smoke machine.

Pacing/Editing

I can’t comment too much on strange cuts; one, I refuse to rewatch Teen Wolf: Movie, and two, because the pacing was so weird that my brain was trying to comprehend the whiplash that I never noticed anything.

One minute the story would be dragging its feet, confusing me in the process, then the next, it would be a massive info dump. Teen Wolf: Movie has such a strange editing style. Some parts could’ve easily been edited out and helped the run time. Honestly, Scott’s intro could have been one of the moments.

Due to this, the film felt like it took forever to end. I found myself wondering if it ever would. I wanted to stop watching it so many times, but I needed to finish only because I didn’t want to relive it. Fair enough, I could have left this as a DNF, but since I was a fan of the show, I felt some sort of loyalty and obligation to finish it before passing judgement.

Did I enjoy it?

Absolutely not. I struggled to finish a film I was so excited about, and I’m delighted that Dyaln O’Brien never returned to reprise Stiles. I can keep the memory of Stiles as he was alive in my mind. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the other characters.

Conclusion

Honestly wasn’t worth it. The Teen Wolf: Movie genuinely ruined the storyline. In my pre-viewing post (Teen Wolf Movie – Utter Disappointment Or Pleasant Surprise?), I said this could be another Fantastic Beast/Cursed Child situation we saw in the Wizarding World Universe, and I’m saddened to say that I believe that to be true. Words cannot describe how upset this has made me. I wish they had spent more time perfecting it instead of rushing it out or never bothering. 

Information & Rating

Rating: 1/7

Where Did I Watch?: Paramount+

Date Watched: 30/01/2023

Film: Teen Wolf: Movie

Run Time: 2hr 20m

Original Release Date: 26 January 2023

BBFC/UK Age Rating: 18

Director(s): Russell Mulcahy

Writer(s): Jeff Davis | Will Wallace | Joseph P. Genier

Main CastTyler Posey | Crystal Reed | Holland Roden | Tyler Hoechlin | Shelley Hennig | JR Bourne

Native Language: English

Sub/Dub: English Subtitles Only | No Dub

Genres: Action, Drama, Fantasy, Romance, Thriller,

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Teen Wolf Movie Review, Waste of Time and Sanity

By Ryn

Lost inside the dark fantasy-filled realms of my own mind, nothing will stop me from hoarding knowledge on anything and everything fantasy, mythological or folkloric. (Well, except maybe my shit memory.)